Our sexual and relational wellbeing is as important as our mental and physical health.
So why is it still so hard to speak about?
Since leaving corporate, when people at my health and wellness centre (aka the gym) ask what I do, and I explain that I’m a coach specialising in sex, love and relationships, there’s often a pause. “Oh... that’s interesting.” A sideways glance that tells me we’ve stepped outside their comfort zone. And the conversation moves on.
A few are people I’ve chatted with routinely for months. Once they know, they withdraw into themselves a little, and just aren’t as friendly as they once were.
It’s not what I expected. When I told my pharma colleagues, they met it with excitement. I’ve wondered why. Maybe because they already knew me. Maybe because I felt safer showing myself to people I’d worked alongside for years. And maybe, in a wellness space, people worry I’m about to sell them something. I wouldn’t. This work is built on curiosity and consent.
Gym and wellness centres are spaces devoted to the body. We speak openly about what we eat, how we train, how we sleep. We’ll happily pay for a gym membership, a personal trainer, a nutritionist, a therapist... all in the name of our health. But investing in our sexual and relational wellbeing, which, I’ve found, supports our mental health too, is still seen as a privilege... a luxury, even indulgent (notice how those words suggest selfishness).
Yet how we connect, how we love, and how we feel in our own bodies shapes everything. Our relationships, our confidence, how alive we feel, and how we show up at work.
Our sexual energy is one of the most direct ways we come home to our bodies, and to ourselves. When we can’t name it, we can’t tend to it.
So the next time someone at the gym or anywhere else asks what I do, I’ll still tell them… gently, and without shame or apology.
